I still need to gather the main wedding pictures, but here are two shots from the parent dances at the second reception. Andrew and An both work at Sight and Sound, so their co-workers couldn’t attend a Saturday reception. That’s why the bride and groom decided to have a second reception on Sunday. That fit well with their Lord of the Rings theme. (You’ve heard of “second breakfast,” right?)
An and her dad Phil danced to “Daddy’s Little Angel” by Tony Carter. (She is seen below in her reception dress; her wedding dress was stunning and elegant.) Drew and Sonya danced to “What a Wonderful World” by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, sung by Louis Armstrong.
On Saturday, May 23, 2026, I had the honor of giving the “Pastoral Message to the Bride and Groom” at my son’s wedding on a Scripture passage of the their choosing. They chose 1 Corinthians 13. Their “Lord of the Rings” themed wedding and reception were as unique as they are.
Andrew and An, your big day is finally here, and there’s nowhere that we as your family and friends would rather be than right here celebrating it with you. An, you are a stunning bride. I think we all gasped when you entered the sanctuary today. You’re a beautiful woman—inside and out. Sonya and I are so thrilled to have you become part of our family today. Our desire is to be your cheerleader and friend as long as God gives us life and breath.
We’ve been praying for this day for a long time. In fact, when it was clear we needed to get Sonya to the hospital years ago, we first stopped by the empty crib and prayed not only for our new child, but also for the future spouse—whoever that might be. And here you stand today as the answer to that prayer, and many others we prayed over the years. God is good—amen?
Andrew, you clean up pretty well, too. You’re a different kind of stunning—but stunning, nonetheless. And you’re still my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Your mother and I couldn’t be prouder of who you are and who you’re becoming.
And I know that Phil and Lien have been praying for you for a long time, too, long before they knew who you were. They’re thrilled that you’re becoming part of their family today, too. And here you stand today as the answer to their prayers for An.
So, [to An:] Sonya and I prayed for you, and [to Andrew:] Phil and Lien prayed for you, and [to the congregation:] we leave it to you wise discernment to figure out which of us has the better prayer life!
Actually, it’s not about us at all. It’s about God and his goodness to two people he dearly loves. And one of the best definitions we have of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul’s masterpiece that you asked me to comment on today. It’s often read at weddings, which is interesting because the context of the passage is not really about marriage at all.
It’s about a church family that wasn’t getting along very well, and they needed to be reminded of what love looks like when relationships become difficult. Well, sometimes the relationship between a husband and wife can become difficult, too. And so, this passage does have application when it comes to marriage. In fact, in a broken world like ours, all relationships will struggle at times, so really, this is a message for all of us today—whether we’re married or not.
Paul begins by saying, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. In other words: Without love, it doesn’t matter what we SAY. “Talk is cheap,” says Paul, “if it’s not backed up by action.” Now, certainly, the words we say to each other are important, but words without love just make us sound like a one-piece band, and that one piece is only a cymbal. It’s hard to make good music with just a crash and a clang. Without love, it doesn’t matter what we say.
Paul goes on, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” In other words: Without love, it doesn’t matter what we KNOW. The cliché is true: people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. And without this kind of caring love, says Paul, we are nothing. All our education and degrees and intellectual gifts mean nothing when love is missing. Without love, it doesn’t matter what we know
Paul continues: “If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” In other words: Without love, it doesn’t matter what we DO. Imagine that! Paul says we can give away all we possess to the poor and needy, and even die as a martyr, but if we didn’t do it in love for the other person, we get nothing. And right there, Paul deals a death blow to the kind of fanaticism that would take up arms against other people, or be hostile toward them, in the name of God. “No!” says Paul. Without love, it doesn’t matter what we do.
It’s an amazing claim, and it applies to marriage because spouses can sometimes get crossways with each other. They sometimes don’t see eye-to-eye. That won’t ever happen with you two, but just in case it does, we should probably talk about these things.
Paul then turns to a positive definition of love. The Greek word—as you well know—is agape, which is God’s kind of love. Paul writes: “Agape love is patient, and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Those are lofty words. And very challenging. They’re words that tell us love is not just a warm, fuzzy feeling; it’s a firm, fixed commitment. It’s not so much a state of being (“I’m in love”); it’s a verb (“I will love”), and it requires much effort. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that may be amore, but it’s not agape. Amore love says, “I will love you if.” Agape love says, “I will love you even if.”
In fact, Paul is saying here that the circumstances that bring out the reality of true love in a relationship are not always easy circumstances, but hard ones! For example:
It’s when you see your spouse’s weaknesses and irritating qualities emerge that true love is patient and kind.
It’s when the limelight falls on your spouse instead of you that true love does not envy.
It’s after your wise counsel is rejected by your spouse, maybe even with serious consequence, that true love does not boast.
It’s when spousal apologies need to be made that true love is not proud.
It’s in the heat of a spousal disagreement that true love is not rude.
It’s in a time of family needs or crises when true love is not self-seeking.
It’s in the time of disappointment with each other that true love is not easily angered.
It’s in the time of personal offense that true love keeps no record of wrongs.
It’s in the midst of job frustration, low bank accounts, bad cooking, leaky roofs, screaming babies, changing body types, aging skin, and seasons of change that agape love never fails.
Shakespeare said it well:
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand’ring bark Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
A lofty sentiment—and a very challenging one to live out. Every married couple will tell you that agape love is hard work. But they will also tell you, it can be done. And it can be done well—with much joy and great delight over the years. And since love is God’s idea—and who God is—he will help you when you look to him.
And when you do look to him for help with agape love, what will you find? You’ll find Jesus—who gave us the greatest love story the world has ever known. Even greater than Aragorn and Arwen in Lord of the Rings. We know you’re both fans of that epic fantasy. Arwen gives up her Elvish immortality to be with Aragorn, choosing to “share one lifetime” with him rather than facing the ages of the world without him.
We know where Tolkien got that idea, don’t we? “Greater love has no one than this,” said Jesus, “that he lay down his life for another.” And that’s exactly what Jesus did. On the cross, he sacrificed himself for us. That’s agape. He went to Mount Doom for us, dying as us and for us—taking our death to himself, and then rising again on the third day. In doing so, he gave believers eternal life with him forever, and abundant life with him now. He showed us what agape love truly looks like.
“God is love,” said the Apostle John. “Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” When we live in love, we experience God—and in the process, we show the world what Jesus Christ is really like.
Without love, it doesn’t matter what we say. Without love, it doesn’t matter what we know. Without love, it doesn’t matter what we do.
But with love, we will joyfully go the distance with each other. You will joyfully go the distance with each other. And so, in the hauntingly beautiful words of Enya from Lord of the Rings:
May it be when darkness falls Your heart will be true… May it be, the shadow’s call will fly away May it be, you journey on to light the day When the night is overcome You may rise to find the sun.
And in the end, we pray that Jesus Christ himself will be the Lord of your rings that you exchange this day—your big day that we get to share with you. God bless you both, now and always. We love you.
Amen.
After the pastoral message, Sonya sang “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris, a song that goes way back but nicely captures the deep affection Jesus has for his bride, the church. And if Drew’s look at An during the ceremony is an indication, Jesus really loves his bride.
Bethany tonight honored her brother and (soon-to-be) sister-in-law with a wonderful speech at the rehearsal dinner. She did it with a nice blend of fun memories, real-life insights, and heartfelt encouragement. I think she did a marvelous job “capturing the moment.”
Hello everyone. If you don’t know me, my name is Bethany, and I have the pleasure of being Andrew’s sister. I’m so thankful to be standing here tonight for this very special moment that we’ve waited for for a long … long … long … long time.
If you know Andrew, you know his creative passion for filmmaking. Because Andrew discovered this passion at a fairly young age, he has been able to do something really special for his friends and family over the years, and that is he’s been able to capture the moment.
Andrew has done such a great job capturing all the wonderful moments in our lives, so tonight I would like to help capture the moment we are in right now. The eve of the day we get to watch these dearly loved people get married and begin their journey through God’s greatest blessing of marriage.
Now, not all of our moments have been captured on camera, so tonight I want to help capture the moment by sharing some moments that weren’t. As you can imagine, growing up with Andrew was certainly an adventure. And if you didn’t know, before Andrew dated An, he never had a girlfriend.
And we have this theory in our family as to why Andrew never had a girlfriend. For most of his adolescence, Andrew really was not boyfriend material. He just wasn’t. And that’s because Andrew has always been husband material.
So, for example, Andrew might not have been great boyfriend material because as a child he was a little…aloof. The kind of aloof that gets you caught in a situation with a police costume he used to have. Somehow while playing with said police costume, Andrew got his ankles handcuffed together … and he had lost the key. All while only wearing … only underwear.
I have this image burned into by brain of Andrew’s feet handcuffed together, him wearing my dad’s t-shirt, while we scoured the front yard looking for the missing key to his handcuffs. I honestly can’t even remember how we got him out of those things. So maybe Andrew wasn’t quite boyfriend material since he was slightly aloof. But he definitely is husband material.
Also in our childhood, I had a season of time that I had bad nightmares. Andrew, in his great creativity and compassion, designed an intricate “bad dream catcher” for my room, made out of strings and laundry baskets and all sorts of things. He had a very detailed explanation for how this bad dream catcher worked and would help get rid of my bad dreams.
Yes, Andrew is husband material because he will always find a way to help you, An. He will come up with a solution to help and protect you in your fears and always wish you sweet dreams.
In our teenage years, Andrew still hadn’t become boyfriend material yet. Andrew had a really great group of guy friends in our youth group at church that he spent time with. My parents hosted an incredible amount of sleepovers in those years. Sometimes for Andrew and his friends to stay up all night drinking Mountain Dew and playing video games, and sometimes for me to have my friends to sleepover and stay up all night watching chick-flicks and talking about those boys in the youth group.
One night, the group of guys found out the girls were having a sleepover. As my girlfriends and I were in the basement watching a movie, Andrew thought it would be a great idea to mess with us. We had a walkout basement with a sliding glass door beneath out wooden deck above. So, Andrew and his friends proceeded to hang his paintball mask from the deck so we could see it through the glass door … and light it on fire. Andrew wasn’t boyfriend material yet because he was much more concerned with scaring the living daylights out of girls instead of impressing them.
However, that same teenage boy was also the boy that literally took someone who had nowhere to go. Andrew had a friend from school that had an incredibly tough home life and was no longer welcome in his home. Andrew invited that boy to live with us and walked through those years with him—all the way through graduation. Andrew is husband material because he is faithful and loyal and a real friend. He will be faithful and loyal to you, An, and he will be the best friend you could ask for.
By the time Andrew arrived at young adulthood, he still was not quite at boyfriend material. On one occasion, he tried to go to the Berkshire Mall in Reading. Somehow, he got lost along the way and wound up in Delaware. Still aloof.
However, once again he proved that he was definitely husband material. Like most college students, Andrew didn’t have a whole lot of money. But when a friend experienced some significant medical problems, Andrew emptied his bank account to pay their bills. Andrew will be a great husband to you, An, because he will give you everything he has without a second thought. He will love you sacrificially and wholly.
So, as we capture this moment now, I am thankful for where we are right here in this moment. Because today makes it all make sense—why Andrew wasn’t boyfriend material before. It’s because he hadn’t yet met An. Andrew wasn’t boyfriend material for anyone else. It was always supposed to be An. Because together, they truly are a perfect match.
And I know, like I’ve always known, that Andrew is going to be a wonderful husband to An because An is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, wife material. She is kind and patient and encouraging and sweet and thoughtful. Andrew will be a great husband because An is going to be a great wife, and, together, their marriage will certainly glorify the Lord.
So, if you can capture this moment in your mind, before your lives change forever tomorrow—in the best way possible, I want to say that this moment is capture-worthy. And I am so glad it’s here.
So, blessings to you, Andrew and An. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight” … and your marriage great.
Lord willing, one week from today I will get to say these wonderful words after giving a brief wedding homily for my beloved son in whom I am well pleased and his lovely bride:
“And now, Andrew and An, by the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you husband and wife. What God has therefore joined together, let no one ever separate.” *
“Andrew, you may kiss your wife.”
💋
“Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great please to introduce to you for the very first time: Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Valentino.”
At that moment, I will get a daughter-in-law, and then we’ll go celebrate with a marvelous reception filled with food, fun, and a few surprises.
Welcome to the family, An. You are God’s gift to all of us.
The countdown is on, and the excitement is growing.
* Since the state has defied God’s definition of marriage, I no longer refer to it in the pronouncement.
